Kevin Mesnard - Cllr Kev
Kevin is this year's Chairman (2011-2012) and sits on the local Council but never seems to attend any meetings. Vague suspicions that his moat was cleaned by way of the Billericay taxpayers last year!

Simon Poole - Stellaboy
Doesn't get his nickname from having an amazing tolerance to Stella Artois, but instead because of the frequency of his wife having to retrieve him from the pub after a night on the stuff!

Tony Sprackling - Chief Inspector
One half of Billericay's infamous (as in "not famous"!) pair, Tony and Guy - the other half being Gareth, his partner in grime.

Scott Gobeille - Scotty
Apologies to residents of Billericay but Scott was responsible for the 2009 Christmas tree lights at the Police Station!

Dave Howell - Thunder Thighs
Dave runs marathons for breakfast and he runs in his sleep - if you were ever stupid enough to be on the receiving end of his right boot, you'd probably fly about 26 miles before you landed!

Gareth Olive - The Inspector
Gareth is Welsh, but we don't hold it against him - nobody is perfect. His secret vice is eating kebabs and partially cooked burgers in the High Street on a Friday night. Also the other half of the Tony and Guy double-act.

Richard Bannister - Wolverine
Richard makes a great Santa Claus for the sleigh at Christmas - no prop beards required!

Barrie Barnard - The Pub Landlord
He's just like Al Murray, with the only differences being that Barrie is 3ft shorter, 2ft narrower, has more hair (just about) and has never been nominated as one of Britain's funniest men.

Darren Clark - Dazza
Recently bailed out by Gordon Brown, Darren is our very own Gordon Ramsey and expects high food standards at our table meetings.

Eddy Heisterkamp - Table Grinch
Responsible for leaky water filters all over the South East of England, Eddy is always on the go - the number of properties this man can visit in one day would put Santa to shame.

Keith Henning - John's Twin Brother
Keith and John O'Hara share the same barber (and possibly the same parents, it's an unresolved Table mystery) and can usually be found propping up his own bar!

Richard Leahy - Dikster
Richard is responsible for...well, it would be easier to list what he's not responsible for. He doesn't make the tea, that's about it.

John O'Hara - Keith's Twin Brother
When John is not trying to mimmick Keith's sweep-over, he can often be found badgering people for money or telling members that he's forgotten the cheque book again.

Paul Foulkes - Arse(nal fan)
Has anyone seen this man? He was last seen boarding a plane to Portugal for the lads' Euro trip with some of the Billericay Round Table guys and is feared missing or lost.

Gary Tilley - Mr Lucky
If you're thinking of buying a raffle ticket then ask Gary to buy it for you, he could also be paired with Paul Donley in BBC’s "10 Years Younger".

Seb Roberts - Seb (original!)
You have to listen really, really carefully when talking to Seb. He has the ability to put the unprepared into a coma.

Peter Shelley - Stretch
At 12ft 7ins Pete has to be the tallest person in Essex! He’s so tall he even has to wear a red light on his head to warn low flying aircraft.

Miles Blendell - Sanjay
Miles is known to us as Sanjay as every sentence ends with "Do you fancy a curry before / after that?". He can be found loitering in any local curry house most nights of the week.

Chris Chapman - Chappo
Chappo likes sailing, in fact anything to do with water, especially if it's been mixed with hops first!

Adam Hills - Ads
Adam rightfully earned the respected title of "Mr Fireworks" for organising such an amazing event for 3 years in a row.

Paul Cooke - Boycie
Paul is the new recruit to our band of merry men. As a car salesman he could easily be mistaken for Boycie but you won't find him in the Nag's Head, only the Red Lion (Mon-Sun 11am-11pm).

Justin McCurnin - The Yank
We all loved Justin until he fleed our Blighty shores in July 2011 to head back to his homeland in Coon Rapids, Minnesota. He is gone but not forgotten, having fly-planted a rememberance tree in the High Street before he left!!

Paul Donley - PD
Paul was the stalwart of Billericay Table for many years and often the backbone of the club, having served in many roles in his time. Already missed by many!

Phill Poston - The Nutter
Phill is the exact opposite of the words quiet, shy, retiring and withdrawn. Oh and the words funny, interesting, likeable....

Paul Whitehead - George Clooney
Paul is Billericay's answer to George Clooney, so much so that none of us are really sure that they are not one in the same person.

Barry Brooks - Bazza
If you need some horse muck for your Roses, then Barry is your man - everyone says he's full of sh...anyway, a jolly fine fellow all round.

Dave Orris - Silver
Silver needs no introduction. So we won't bother with one! He's a really handy bloke if you happen to need a 44-tonne dumper truck.

Russell Baker - The Queen
Russ is not really a queen, but managed to suffer many years of abuse by fellow Tablers - thankfully he was bold enough to give as good as he got!

Alan Sheehy - That Welsh Bloke
What it is, you see, is Alan is Welsh, is it. I'm with Anne Robinson anyway...waedlyd Cymraeg!

Lance Roberts - The Big Fella
Lance used to rob us blind at meetings and was the man who fined members for saying or doing something stupid during the week.

Steve Martin - Big Nose
Steve was another valued member for many years, so we'll just use this opportunity to comment on his remarkably large schnoz - tidal charts are affected by this man.

Roger Daws - Todger
Roger entertains all our children with his ability to make almost anything out of a balloon. He can make a fully functional and to-scale replica World War 1 tank in under 42 seconds.